Be a Women's Women
Updated: Jan 29, 2021
In a world of competition, we as women need to stand up for one another. When it comes to my friends I gravitate to women that are strong, big hearts and they don't mind my crazy community ideas.
I am new to the "30 years old club" and the "mom club". I have a one year old (pictured above), a husband and a ton of amazing women in my life. I am constantly trying to build up my village around me and support my ladies (omg I just realized I am a bra! I support the ladies! lol).
“There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women."
― Madeleine Albright, (Keynote speech at Celebrating Inspiration luncheon with the WNBA's All-Decade Team, 2006)”
I don't think there has ever been such an amazing quote. I heard it at a women's conference in the Brainerd Lakes area in 2020 pre-Covid. I have used it many a times and always will. Being a women can be difficult in a lot of ways, but we are not victims. We are super heroes.
I am a women's women.
How are we super heroes? Let me just go off a little here: We can MAKE a baby. Grow it inside of us. (Literal body builders). We can birth said baby and breastfeed them the perfect liquid gold - breast milk. We make things happen. We run businesses, households and pretty much the world.
When I had my son I had a c-section - I didn't expect or want a cesarean. In fact, I believed I was less than a women because of it. Shame and inferior feelings surrounded me. I had to find something to make me feel more women. I found breastfeeding to be the perfect focus for me. I had a super rough time starting the breastfeed process. I had/have flat nipples which is a common struggle for breastfeeding. I used a nipple guard to help start the breastfeeding until my body was able to feed without (a long hard process for another blog).
Once I got the hang of breastfeeding and watched amazing documentaries and videos about breastfeeding I felt that womanly power. I had a few friends that were also pregnant and I loved being able to be a resource and encouragement for them. Some of my friends did breastfeed and some didn't. The longer I am a mom the more I believe that you cannot judge another mom.
All children are different and all moms are doing the best they can. So be nice. Not all of my friends are moms but all of my friends are amazing.
I heard that you shouldn't be the smartest person in the room. I think in addition to that, you shouldn't be the most interesting person in the room. I have the weirdest, kindest, most creative, big hearted and interesting friends. Never a dull moment or a bad visit with them.
Growing your friend circle as an adult is near impossible. Especially with covid happening and all the isolation we have all been through. Here are things I have tried and learned about growing friendships and supporting other women:
Listen, listen listen - when you have a new (potential) friend or someone you admire listen to what they say. Listen to understand, not to respond.
Don't be cheap - support your friends business or craft and pay full price. Buy the stupid Pampered Chef and attend the online giveaways. Comment, like and share their posts. Also send them a private message about how much you love their art or how you see their hard work. This also applies to spending time with friends, invest in the people around you. The gift of quality time is priceless. Encourage their passions, it comes back two-fold.
Build up - friends and your female community around you will make mistakes. They will disappoint you and when they do, build them up. We know our mistakes and we don't want reminders. Find a way to encourage the good and learning (in a positive way) to your females.
Pro-women is not anti-man - don't build a community that hates men (or spouses). Your community outside of your marriage (or relationship) helps you grow and should be encouraging toward the success of your relationships and pursuit of happiness. I am a women's women but I love my husband.
I am in no way an expert or therapist. My community is strong and I have never felt more loved and supported. And I just love my female friendships and I support their small businesses. The hope is that we all support small business for male and female friends but like I said I am a women's women.
Let me leave you with some last thoughts. How can you add to your current community and support your friends? Can you buy from them? How can you check in on them and build them up? Looking for new friends? Maybe try to join some online communities and start giving - give positive comments and participate in conversation. You'll find what you are looking for if you give out what you want back.
Well friends, I am off to mom life of dirty diapers, tons of toys, a gaggle of giggles and a never ending pile of dirty clothes. Be a bra with me - support the ladies. Remember you are beautiful, worthy and enough.